Some days my life is eeking of mom guilt. It could be travel, it could be (lack of) time, it could be the fact that I wasn’t there to pick up Liv from preschool or that I had to miss Mommy Morning (of all of the days…).
But once I shift my focus from the trees to the forest (and remember the bigger picture rather than just the guilt-ridden smaller details), I remember that I make ALL my big decisions with my family in mind. And that there’s no room for mom guilt.
A short example: a week after my maternity leave ended I flew up to the Bay Area of California for work and 2.5 days of straight meetings. Marley came with me (I am growing a network of awesome sitters in my corporate office’s home town and I also have family to rely on) but on that trip I didn’t for one minute regret that I had to step out of my balancing act back home to be in work-mode for three days away.
I met with our team from Shanghai, I met with my new counterpart from Chicago, I spent a day reviewing plans for a strategy rollout with a new partner that flew in from North Carolina. It was invigorating. And frankly, after being absent for eight weeks, it was necessary.
I recognize that I need these sorts of meetings to motivate me. I walked away from this trip full of ideas, full of energy and full of scheming enthusiasm. I had the opportunity to put on my strategy hat and to enjoy, all mom guilt aside.
Back home, the girls had a great time with their Mimi and their daddy. They loved my return (as did I!) and it was but a blip in our routine after a few days had passed. It’s okay to be a mom that sometimes has obligations. It’s okay to rejuvenate whether it’s for work, a day with girlfriends, a child-less reenergizing weekend or a (second, third, fourth) honeymoon to reconnect with your partner.
We have no room for mom guilt.
I took a similar trip to Boston just last week with my dad and sister to visit my brother (M also came along as infants do). This trip was for fun and reconnecting with long distance family.
We have no room for mom guilt.
Part of being a good parent, a good friend, a good colleague, a good partner is by taking care of what you have to do and what you need to do. Trip A was part of what I had to do. Trip B was part of what I needed to do. I dropped into the blog today to share these stories because I think we all need a reminder sometimes that it’s okay to not feel guilt for what pulls us away from our families. Shoot, it’s even okay to enjoy it.
Happy weekend, friends. To my momma’s, you are doing an awesome job!
More motherhood posts shared here, more thoughts on being a working mom over here. Marley sporting a bandie from my girlfriend’s company Grey and Gingham. xo
I’m not the first fellow-mom to say it, but you really do have to put your own oxygen mask on first! Even Gisele Bundchen has stated her own version of this.
You definitely do need to find what makes you a better, whole mom and wife, guilt-free : ) .
Well put Morgan! It’s so wonderful that you’ve found a career that you love and that energizes you. And to have the means and opportunity to take breaks with your siblings, husband or even with your whole family; it’s all part of a greater, better plan. I recently received a snarky comment about why we’re enrolling T in occasional summer camps since I’m “not working” (not paid is different from not working!). But the reality is that we’ll both need those breaks. For me to get things done, and for her to have free time with other kids. No mom guilt allowed. Thanks for the reminder!
Well said, Leslie. I’m shocked that someone would comment with that! Being a mom is the hardest job out there, and summer camps are an opportunity to let kids thrive and grow. I think that’s fantastic (Liv’s signed up for a few, too). No mom guilt :).
Loved this one.
No need for guilt. And she is so, so precious…
Also, Marley is such a cutie!!!!
Preach it! Thanks for this. I have to travel a lot for work, and love the idea of bringing my baby along when possible.